Wives, Help Us! (Genesis 2:18)

 

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” – Genesis 2:18 (NKJV)

Simply because I don’t know her, I can’t say I agree with all the theological perspectives of Maggie Elias. But someone posted a reel of hers on their FB page, and in that particular reel, she nailed it.

She said that men were like umbrellas. By design, they are called to protect their wives and children from the rain and the sun. Without her umbrella over her, the woman would get unpleasantly soaked or burned. The umbrella, on the other hand, is designed to handle the elements. It’s waterproof and the sun doesn’t harm it the same way.

“The man is called to be the umbrella,” Elias says, “but the woman is called to hold it up. The umbrella can’t do his job if the woman doesn’t do hers.”

She went on to say that the heavier the umbrella, the more elements it’s designed to withstand, the stronger the woman needs to be to support it. In her case, she’s a pastor’s wife. She would probably tell you that her calling was a heavier burden than say, a young wife of a husband who felt like his sole goals in life were to simply do enough to pay the bills and perhaps beat his high score on a Play Station video game.

Of course, since this is God’s design, our human cultures are going to do everything they can to mess it up. Many cultures across the water don’t value the wives as a strong support. They look to their wives to raise children, be their slaves, or serve as pieces of property that only exist to serve the husbands’ pleasure. Our culture says the woman is more fulfilled if she ditches her umbrella and tries to take on the storms herself. That carries with it the double whammy that not only is she soaked, now the umbrella is no longer able to do its job, because there’s no one holding it up.

In Genesis 2, the woman is described as being created to be the man’s helper because it’s not good for the man to be alone. In the New Testament (1 Cor. 11:9), Paul clarifies that by saying the woman was designed for the man; the man wasn’t designed for the woman. Filtered through a Western mind, many women find the whole concept insulting. Where does her own independence come into THAT equation? Where is her own identity apart from her husband then? When does the permission come to open up the cage and fly towards her own destiny?

Is she sure that if she flew out of the cage, she wouldn’t be flying AWAY from her intended destiny? Why is being called the Helper in the relationship considered so restrictive and belittling?  

I'm not sure a hammer is an appropriate tool to use on a car engine, but if I have to work on one by myself for very long, the hammer is coming out!

With my mechanical prowess, if I'm going to try to do anything more than change the oil, I'm probably going to be calling my buddy for help pretty quick. Interestingly, even when I'm the one directing the details of when and how I need his help, my buddy never feels like his role as helper belittles his status, knowledge, skill, or integrity. As a matter of fact, when I acknowledge my need for him, it does quite the opposite!

In the same way, God never seemed to feel belittled when Bible writers called Him their Helper in their times of need. He actually appreciated it and felt worshiped when they admitted how dependent they are on Him!

It’s not offensive when a wife is called the husband’s helper. If anything, we husbands should be the ones who are offended! Essentially, by design, God made sure that we could never operate our cars of life by ourselves!

Maybe that's why the gift of celibacy is considered a gift. It’s as if God told those few lucky fellows, "I'm going to make it to where you'll be fine on your own. Meanwhile, I'm going to remove part of the brains of your buddies so they can’t live on their own. Try not to lord it over them."

It's like God put me behind the steering wheel of a car, but then gave the GPS to Jen. Sure, ever since Eve ate that fruit, there have been times when Jen really wanted to grab that steering wheel (and maybe even kick me out of the car!), but I'm the one stuck with the knowledge that I'm ALWAYS in need of her GPS!

If we're going to arrive peacefully at our destination, we each have to get good at our roles. If we’re going to survive the storms, we each have to get good at our roles. We husbands will focus on protecting our wives and families from the elements that our wives weren’t meant to endure, but we need them to hold us up! 

Dear Heavenly Father, Your design is perfect. I pray that we lead the way in rejecting all perversions of it, whatever form that may take. We praise You for Your wisdom. We praise You for Your strength. We acknowledge that in You, we find both our Umbrella and our Helper. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.