Why Marriages Aren't Hallmark Cards (Genesis 3:16-19)

 

To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.” Then to Adam He said, "Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’: “Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are, and to dust you shall return.” - Genesis 3:16-19 (NKJV)

Some call it Karma. God says, “I won’t be mocked; you reap what you sow."

When Adam ate from the one forbidden tree, he sowed a rejection of the prosperity that God had given him freely. God had initially placed him in a garden filled with precious metals and abundant food. With his rebellion, he reaped its loss. Not only would he no longer be allowed to live in God’s Paradise, he would have to work by the sweat of his brow in a creation that no longer catered to his needs.

When Adam ate from the one forbidden tree, he sowed a failure to be Eve’s guide. Genesis 3:6 squealed on him. It said, “…she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband WHO WAS WITH HER, and he ate.” Adam was right there during the conversation with the snake! Rather than protecting his wife from the evil influence, he sat there quietly waiting to see if she would really die when she ate it. This tells me he wanted that fruit as much as she did, and he was willing to sacrifice her for its pursuit. His failure reaped a wife who no longer respected his leadership.

When Adam later blamed Eve for his failure, he sowed a failure to love Eve as himself. He knew God had promised his death if he ate the fruit. Now with God’s appearance, that penalty seemed imminent. So to save his own skin, he shifted the blame to Eve. Perhaps she could take the brunt of God’s wrath, and he could be saved! He sowed a human history of husbands who would find it difficult to love their wives the way they were designed to do.  

When Eve ate from the tree, she sowed a rejection of her role as Helper. Rather than helping Adam be who he was supposed to be, she disobeyed his instruction. (God hadn’t said don’t touch the fruit. It’s implied, therefore, that Adam had given that prohibition to ensure they would both stay obedient.) As a result, she became the instrument of his downfall. This reaped a resentment in her heart towards being relegated as Helper. All wives throughout human history would forever work to keep one hand on the wheel even though their husbands were still sitting in the driver’s seat. Many wives would even look for ways to drive their own cars without their husbands in them! This would lead to constant frustration and conflict, because husbands still held the God-ordained job description as guides and teachers.

When Eve ate from the tree and convinced Adam to do the same, they sowed sin and the fallen condition into human DNA, passing it along to all of their offspring. From that, Eve reaped a fallen experience of bringing those offspring into the world. From then on, childbearing would be a miserable experience.

Together, they sowed a loss of their relationship with God and peace with each other. An instant physical death would have been easier!

But praise Jesus, He came to the rescue of anyone who would surrender their lives to Him! With Him, our relationship with God can be restored. With Him, husbands can again learn how to love their wives, and wives can learn how to respect their husbands. With Him, husbands can learn what it means to guide, and wives can learn to help. With Him… okay, women don’t escape the misery of childbearing and men don’t escape working by the sweat of their brows. But at least now women can experience childrearing as a blessing, and men can find their work fulfilling instead of mere drudgery and toil.

While it’s still true that we often reap what we sow, it’s also true that Jesus sacrificed Himself to offer us mercy. I, for one, took Him up on His offer!

Dear Heavenly Father, You are good and just, but we needed more than that. If all we had was Your goodness and justice, we would be in serious trouble! We live in desperate need of Your love, mercy, and grace to save us from our failures. Teach us how to sow what You want us to reap! Thank You for Jesus. Thank You for the cross. Thank You for rescuing us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.