Husband, Be Strong, Show Yourself the Man!

Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” 
- Genesis 2:15-17 (NKJV) 

One time, Jen and I were at a homeschool conference, and we went to a breakout session led by a mother of ten boys. That wasn't a typo. TEN boys. Not just ten children, either. Ten BOYS. She mentioned that to say her home was a constant crazy house of hyperactive energy was an understatement. We in the audience all felt for her. 

But then she had an interesting perspective on the relative energy exhibited by the average boy versus the average girl. She claimed it was by God's design. How else was the boy supposed to grow up and be the kind of man who could go to work for 8-10 hours a day, then come home, play with the kids, help them with their homework, and work with the wife around the house?

I looked over at her husband who was standing off to the side, awaiting his turn to speak. He was smiling and nodding! What? At what point was he going to grab her microphone and point out how it was only fair that after a 10-hour workday, the man should be allowed to come home, lean back in his easy chair, and watch television while the wife and kids quietly did whatever they did elsewhere? 

That speech never came. When it was his turn, he not only affirmed everything his wife had claimed, he admonished us dads to step up to the plate! 

Looking at the creation of Adam and Eve, the couple had a point. One of my previous blogs discussed how one of Adam's job descriptions in the marriage was to love his wife as himself, because in a way, she was himself. After all, she had literally been formed from his flesh. Already, that's quite the struggle for absolutely every man I've ever met, including yours truly. But the next part of the husband's job description isn't any easier. Adam was designed to step up and lead. Not just provide for, protect, then come home and be lazy. Lead.

Permit me to use an illustration I quoted on a Facebook post I wrote here recently along the same lines. It's not original with me; I heard it from a speaker at a marriage conference:

There were two privates in the military. Their commanding officer sent them both on a mission. The privates were equally skilled and equally important. But right before they embarked on their mission, the officer said to one of the two privates, "I'm holding you responsible for the mission's success." The privates were equally skilled and equally important, but now one of them was ultimately in charge. 

 

Adam and Eve had both been given a mission: reflect God to the rest of Creation and raise a family to exercise dominion over it. But they failed. They chose to sin instead. But don't miss this. In the New Testament, the Bible claims that sin entered into the world because of Adam (Rom. 5:12-14), even though it was Eve's idea initially to eat the fruit. 

 

How can that be? That's not fair! It's because God had put Adam in charge and was therefore holding Adam responsible for the failure. 

 

Now notice how the Bible defines what being in charge is all about. Many husbands like to interpret "being in charge" as "getting their way." They like the idea of getting to choose which channel to watch or having the freedom to go fishing with their buddies when their wives want to pick out color schemes for the bedroom. But "getting their way" is not God's definition. Men are in charge specifically for the mission. Eve was not present when God gave Adam the instructions not to eat from the tree. We never see God tell her directly. She was supposed to learn that from Adam.

 

In the New Testament, we see the same message. In Ephesians 5:25-28, one of the husband's duties in loving his wife is to do the work of presenting her as holy and blameless. Then in 1 Peter 3:7, he's to respect her as the weaker partner. This doesn't mean she IS the weaker partner; I humbly admit Jen is smarter than I am and more capable in a multitude of areas. But I'm to shoulder the greater burden AS IF she were the weaker partner. 

So why is it that women are often the ones who are left with the responsibility of disciplining the children or getting them to church? Why is it that if family devotions happen, the women are the the ones pushing for it? Why is it that most churches have women making up the majority of the work force? Why are women's ministries often the more active? Why have politicians learned to cater to women as the political force rather than men?

 

Men, God gave us plenty of energy, not just so we can provide, protect, and then reward ourselves with playtime. We're on a mission. Our wives are fellow privates on mission with us. But we're the ones that are being held accountable for its success. It's time to step up to the plate and show ourselves as men. 

Dear Heavenly Father, you know what weaknesses husbands have inherited from Adam. For the sake of our marriages, for the sake of our families, for the sake of our society, please remind us what true manhood is all about, and give us the grace to step up to the plate! In Jesus' Name, Amen.